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Have a nice day (really)!

Autumn has arrived, the percentage of grey skies is increasing and everything seems to be getting more serious.  At least it feels that way to me. It could be that the world is turning the same way it always has, but these days it feels like there's so much to do - on both a societal and individual level - that what I'm doing is never enough. Of course, I'm just one person, and a very lazy one at that, but it seems that whenever something is finished, twenty-seven new challenges arise. I know that's what the neoliberal hustle and bustle society tells us to think, but I don't want to see life as an accumulation of problems. Life shouldn't feel like a burden (at least for someone living in an extremely wealthy country in the western world). At the same time, I don't want to close my eyes and doors to all the tasks that come my way and retreat into a lethargic hole of apathy. So what's the way forward? - Even if the media + people tell you to toughen up: So
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The pusher

Pressure. Pushing down on me.  Really?  When I take a closer look at who or what is putting me under pressure, I realize that... it's actually me. There's no one else who demands such unrealistic things from me than me myself. Well, there are people who expect things from me, but the only person who decides a) whether or not to accept and fulfil these expectations, b) to what extent (of perfection) and c) to add extra tasks is ME.  Moreover, what characterizes the expectations I have on myself is that firstly, they are vague, so it's never clear when they are fulfilled, and secondly, they are completely unrealistic. Who would expect you to face ALL your fears in just ONE day? Maybe I'll even write a book and climb the Mont Blanc in the same day if I get to it.  The thing is: They feel like they come from the outside world, and they feel real. They're threatening and always imply some terrible outcome happening if I don't do X or fulfil condition Y. Nobody wants

call from the void

Hello, it's me, the void.  I'm calling you again from the depths. It's been a while since we have spoken. Have you been so caught up in your day-to-day that you've forgotten about me? Knock knock. Whisper whisper. I'm still here, patiently waiting, and my business is still the same: To remind you that you're the one who has to make sense of it all. Does that sound challenging or even overwhelming? Nobody said that life was easy. You've made yourself quite comfortable in your comfort zone, haven't you? Time to look outside it. To push the boundaries that are getting closer and closer, leaving you minimal room to breathe. Or is that what you call life? Is that what you want? You can now ponder this question before your first coffee, on the train, or in your dreams. No, I don't have an answer either, and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Haha. That would be waaay to easy. Boring. Pointless. Neither will I promise that you'll find one. Unlike m

I LOVE travelling!

At times, all I can think of is holiday, going away, breaking out of the routine and seeing something completely different (okay, actually the places I'm going to then look fairly similar to my home town: middle sized towns with pittoresque houses, surrounded by green middle high hills, often crossed by a river). So much I longed for time away from everything. After three days into the trip, however, what I longed for most was home. Not because the holiday was so terrible. I didn't get bedbugs or a sunstroke and I wasn't robbed (all of which have happened recently, to me or people around me). I just didn't have any drive for activities anymore.  Impressive, but not for a mind that is already full What I probably really needed was not an exciting trip with lots of new impressions and little adventures, but a bed somewhere by a lake and a week of rain. To simply do nothing. Not the kind of doing nothing where you're stuck behind a screen, paralysed and restless. But t

Caffecito

 Kaffee-Craving 10/10 ich wünscht', hier würd' ne Tasse stehn Synapsen sind am Abdrehn oder eher Eingehn schwarzes Gold, ich sehn' nach dir komm bitte bitte bald zu mir ein Montag ohne dich ist Kampf mein Hirn nur noch Kartoffelstampf.   Sei gnädig, wenn ich's schon nicht bin Verleih dem Existieren Sinn hell dies' kurze Leben auf mach mich high, bring mich drauf lass mich bitte nicht allein mit dir, oh süßes Säftelein kann Leben ja so herrlich sein ich schwör', ich bin für immer dein.

Random questions part 2

 My daily mental chatter on some days consists mainly of questions. In these moments, I seldomly have anyone to ask them to, so I'm just throwing them out here, in no particular order. You may use them for self-reflection, to get to know someone better, to start a conversation, or you may just find them odd. Whatever you prefer. Either - or?  - 11 am or pm? - Shower or bath? - sleeping on the side or on your tummy? - coffee at a corny cafè or pub night? - lake, sea, or river? - Lark/early bird or night owl? - Listening to music on a speaker or through headphones? - Heat or cold? - Singing or dancing or both? - Saturday night: at home or in a bar/club? - Gift: flowers or chocolate? Questions to dig a little deeper: - What is your favorite day and why? - What are you looking forward to in the upcoming week(s)? - How did you imagine yourself to be now when you were 12 years old? - Do you have a recurring dream? If so, what is it about? - What's your favorite weather? - What's

Doubts

 Some things to tell yourself when you're struggling with "What am I gonna do with my life": - Nobody knows. Or at least, nobody knows for sure. If they do, they're lying.  - You're doing just fine. It's society, media, and outdated normative conceptions that tell you something else. They may once have served to provide guidance and reduce uncertainty. But if they're standing in your way, they've failed this goal. So let them go.  - There's no definite answer(s) but only tentative ones. Do what feels good right now. You will figure out anew when it's time to adapt your goals or priorities.  - You don't have to have everything figured out by NOW. You even can't. Life is to explore and learn. At least that's what old people say ;) Paradoxically, you may only know what was worth it and what not at the end of your life.  - Again: Nobody knows. I, personally, don't have a clue.  Maybe being overwhelmed is part of the game...? That sa